Fearful

Our oldest will soon be leaving to move on campus for the first time. Needless to say it will be a time of adjustment for us all. Especially for our adopted sibling children… They have been through a lot together and luckily never had to be split from each other. So what will happen?

Things we have noticed of late are emotions are running super high. Even the smallest of conversations will set them off. Mostly the oldest getting beyond emotional. Anxiety through the roof over simple things like scheduling classes for college. We tell them often change and stepping out of ones comfort zone is hard. We encourage them daily to makes steps toward the move less stressful by doing a little at a time. But of course we can only encourage. In the end they have to choose to take the step to do.

Our youngest is ready for the transition. They will get to be an only child in the home. Plus they know their sibling will be fine. They try to spend as much time with each other as possible. This mostly benefits the oldest. The youngest sees it more as a duty. Have you ever heard the phrase, brother’s keeper? That’s how they feel most days.

For us as the parents we are excited for a new chapter in the parent journey. We know with this step our children will soon be all gone. We have already begun to make plans for what life will be like after they have moved into their new lives. We know with the oldest leaving our lives will become less stressful. The past year with our oldest has been very difficult. They have been doing things we completely don’t agree with. We have had numerous conversations about the path they are on and consequences to go with their actions. Our oldest has disregarded everything we have said and wants to continue doing what they want. As parents, we have done what we can in instruction. The move will be good for us as parents to have a break from their choices.

Now as a mom, I have gotten a bit choked up about the children going through this split soon. It brings up the past for me. There was an incident when I was in elementary school when I told my brother I wouldn’t leave his side. So as I think on those words I told my brother, I can only imagine what these adopted siblings have said to one another. There is always a tighter bond created when children experience trauma.

One more month left before the move… I have no idea what will happen over this time. I am praying my children will find peace through this natural and normal transition through life.