Mind Over Heart

We received an email a couple weeks ago about updating over adoption home study for the next couple years. I brought this to my husband and we knew we needed to discuss this very important decision. We needed to weigh out all the options of keeping it up or letting it go. Wasn’t going to be an easy choice no matter what.

Keeping the home study open means updating many things. You have to acquire new references, new medical forms for all household members, update on immunizations, plus all updated vet records and shots. Since we chose to go through a private adoption agency we would also be paying the home study renewal fees. They do send all this information out about six months before deadlines. You feel like you only have an approved home study for a year and a half before starting all over again. We know we are not ready to adopt again for another 3-4 years. That would be another 2 more renewals if we chose that path.

We also looked into what it would look like if we let the home study lapse. We would have to start from scratch when we go to adopt again. What that would look like is more paperwork than if we just renewed. In addition to what the renewal asks for we would have to include financial reports, go through home visits and home safety checks. Of course don’t forget about some in person training classes. Even doing it all over again would still take about six months, just like the renewal. There would also be fees to be paid.

Another thing we had to consider was timing. For me, I am the one doing all the paperwork and appointments. With how the deadlines fell I wasn’t going to be able to keep them. I am having major surgery in the next couple weeks. With recovery taking a couple months, that would put me in a pinch. Not to mention our youngest in now a senior in High School. Add all that on top of my recovery. Too many things to do over this next year, sometimes you have to stop and look and realize it is all too much.

The decision was not an easy one… We have decided to let our adoption home study lapse at this time. Does this mean we will never adopt again? Of course not. When we are ready again, we will start all over. By then we may decide to not do private adoption. Who knows right now. The only thing we know for sure is we will love the pair of adopted children we have now and give them all the knowledge we have for them to succeed in adulthood.