Resentment

Resentment is like a cancer! The majority of us know how cancer goes. It’s a disease that starts out microscopically, as a single-mutated cell. Then the cells begin dividing and multiplying. It grows steadily. Until it consumes a body leading to death. I believe resentment to be very similar. Let me try to explain it the way I see it.

Resentment can start so small, just a word or an action we take the wrong way. We let the word or action lodge in our heart and mind. Slowly the annoyance of the word or action begins to fester. We try to shrug it off like it doesn’t bother us. Then all of a sudden something else is said or done that add to the previous word or action.

Anger is the next stage where it divides our heart from our mind. Our heart has been broken and is upset by the word or action. Our mind begins to race even more about what was done. We constantly replay the incident over and over in our mind. It consumes our day, week, month. Our heart and mind at war with each other, one side being emotional and the other rational. We are grieved at how much it hurts and then we are also trying to convince ourselves why we are still upset.

Then lastly we allow bitterness to consume every word and action. Bitterness is a hard thing to live with. Your very life full of so much negativity. No person can function in this state. Every interaction you have will be off. You may be able to fool people that don’t know you well. But if you are like me, I don’t hide my emotions well.

Our one child came to us with lots of unresolved trauma from what happened with their birth parents. We have been trying to work with them on letting go of offenses. Even now, 3 years after our adoption finalization, there are still signs they are holding onto things from the past. Their actions of how they deal with life right now definitely proves this factor.

How do we encourage others or even ourselves to let go? We have to offer forgiveness! Sometimes this simple thing is the hardest thing to do. Once we give forgiveness we have to let it go. Stop picking it back up and holding it over someones head. Forgiveness is an act of love we offer the offender showing them how much we care for their relationship in our life.